


Pest Control

by 221butterbeers



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Arachnophobia, Attempt at Humor, Cussing, Damsels in Distress, Drabble, F/M, First Date, Half Drabble, Humor, James is a Dork, Lily is a hero, Marauders, Spiders, Swearing, Who Knows?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7309420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221butterbeers/pseuds/221butterbeers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is home alone. There's a spider in his bathroom. Lily is his only hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pest Control

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tonysta_k](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonysta_k/gifts).



_Okay, breathe. Just breathe. It’s only a spider and — oh, God. No. No, definitely not. Where the hell is Remus when I need him?_

James backed frantically out of the bathroom, tripping over the shower mat and his feet. 

_Chill, James, seriously what would Moony think? — Probably: stupid git, it’s not hurting you. But that’s not the point. It is barely the size of a two pound coin — oh God! It moved — fuck._

Somehow, he found himself in the kitchen, grabbing a glass and heading back over to the bathroom that was currently occupied by a certain eight-legged beast, hellbent on destroying the apartment James shared with his friends. 

_Be a man, Prongs, be a manly man with leg hair and a beard and — No, I can’t do this!_

He retreated back to the kitchen, breathing erratically. All he wanted was to pee, was that too much to ask? Maybe he’d have to go in the sink again, but then Remus didn’t speak to him for two whole days and Sirius is still making jokes about James’ arachnophobia from the last time this happened. Placing down the glass, he decided it would be better just to ask a neighbour to borrow their loo.

Confidently, James strode across the threshold, rattling his knuckle against the door across the hall. The door opened to reveal a red-haired women with an unamused look on her face, “Hiya, Evans!” James said brightly, as though he hadn’t just been screaming for his life, “Just gonna use your loo—is that cool?”

Lily placed her hand on the door frame, blocking James entrance, “No… you’re not.”

James pursed his lips, trying so hard to be calm and cool and collected, “Oh, c’mon Lily!” He whinged, _Nice one, James, super smooth_.

Lily’s right eyebrow rose even higher than it had been before, “Did you just _stamp_ your foot at me?”

Scratching the back of his neck James muttered, “No…?”

It was that point Lily realised why her neighbour was bothering her. Stifling a laugh she stated, “There’s a spider in your flat.”

“Pfft. No.” James lied, pulling a confused face.

But Lily had already gone back into her flat. She returned a moment later with a glass and magazine, “C’mon Potter!”

 

“So… where’s this monster?” Lily asked.

“In the bathroom—by the toilet.” James replied, “And you don’t have to be doing this! I can handle it by myself—it’s just a spider.”

“Oh, sure. That’s why you took a piss in the sink.”

“Who _told_ you.”

“Remus was complaining.”

They were back in James’ home now and Lily was marching over to the bathroom, ready to pounce on the infamous spider. James however had ran to the other side of the apartment as soon as Lily’s red hair and freckled shoulders had disappeared behind the bathroom door. A few seconds later she was coming back out with cup pressed down on the magazine, the arachnid trapped between the glass and the paper.

“Open the window, would you?” She called, walking calmly over. Nervously, James did what he was told and Lily dropped the horrible creature out the window, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” She queried, reaching up to pinch James’ cheek.

The messy haired idiot nodded slowly, clicking his tongue, “So, Evans, you want to get some coffee?”

“Go pee first.”

**Author's Note:**

> JESS IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG (also we should continue that art school fic)


End file.
